Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -30

men's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Welcome to make your own anti joke! Please use tkeyboard usually available somewhere below this screen.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happened to the teacher? He taught his students.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

thumb_up thumb_down -32

21

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the man say when he lost his keys? "Where's my keys?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops