what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

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Sac

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What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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toast points

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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