What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Idk

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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LIFE :(

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Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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