What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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whats chinese noodles

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You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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Bob dole

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How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

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What to you call a Muslim person on a plane? A passenger

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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You have cancer

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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