Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do u call a black person by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call the twin towers? An airport

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops