What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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