Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Your sister's feet smell so bad people encourage her to go home and wash them.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A guy trips a blind man.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops