Q: What's worse than a rainy day? A:

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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your mother

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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Q: What did Cyclops say to Wolverine? A: "We're both X-Men!"

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

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I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Roses are red violets are blue you have cancer......

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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