What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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What did the Homosexual say to the Southern American? I'm A Homosexual. What did the Southern American say back? I Respect That.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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Do you want to know a funny joke Answer- Kieran Reynolds HAHAHAHAHA This is not Daniel Lesiak

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops