Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=148&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=L4yN-90F2S2nXM:&imgrefurl=http://www.britishbeautyblogger.com/2012/05/justin-bieber-nails.html&docid=yYdBShdYVODKdM&imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YFyj_mKUypY/T6VP6iGQeCI/AAAAAAAAJjI/y6cpVYjn9Gs/s1600/harry.PNG&w=573&h=413&ei=ZY7HT_XqHo2c8QStiY2IDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=724&vpy=140&dur=435&hovh=191&hovw=265&tx=75&ty=135&sig=110416686013590693091&page=12&tbnh=148&tbnw=229&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:148,i:142

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops