What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

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What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

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try slamming a revolving door

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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How much Is a free app on my market?

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

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Republicans

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What do you call a black person with dandruff.... A lamington

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why did the moose cross the road? to eat the baby.

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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