Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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