What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

acualy is dolan

What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

Roses are red, Violets are purple

why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

What did the monkey say to dog Foreskin

How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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