- Anti Joke

Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why is a bad joke like a dull pencil? cuz thers no point!!!!

jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

Xbox One

Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.