What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

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Womens' Rights

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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>posts joke >mistaken for anti-joke

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I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

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What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

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knock knock how there me ok come in

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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