?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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your mum

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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What has a head but can't see? A penis.

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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whats a long boring sotry that no oneever wantsto read? the life of sarah palin.

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Joe diragi is gayer than elton john

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A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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