Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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Wanna hear a joke? Joe Jonas.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question they cant afford one.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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