Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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learn the ropes?

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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