What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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Barack Obama

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why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

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What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

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A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

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how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

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What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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Why is Islam the fastest growing religion? Because black people breed like rats.

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

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Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

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A disabled man walks into a bar.

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Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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