What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

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How do you get your children out of a cardboard box? You open the box to see your dead children's corpses

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Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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What you reading? reading?

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What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops