What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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Why did the kitchen cross the road?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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What you reading? reading?

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops