Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

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Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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