Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I was Writing and i broke my pencil

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a gay dog? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops