Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

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Why was the bully in detention? He punched a fellow classmate.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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Hey guya im a female stripper and if you want to have some fun call me 8633972535 thanks. -Tyler

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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Why did the imagrint cross the road? Cuz he stole the chickin's job.

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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love is a homeless guy searchin' for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place.

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

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Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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FUCK THE CHRISTIANS

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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