Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

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Why did the kitchen cross the road?

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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shammmm is a lesbian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

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What you reading? reading?

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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poop

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops