Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

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What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

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A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

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What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

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Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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