what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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Womens rights.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

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I am on a escalator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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