Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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That's not what she said.

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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Once upon a cross

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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