Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

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poopoo

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Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

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If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

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I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

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How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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Why are there so many black men in the NBA? Because they trained hard and practiced regularly to get there..

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Pokemon pencil!!! A Pokemon pencil who? I just found a Pokemon pencil next to my computer when I was playing pokemon!!! LMFAO!

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Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

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A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

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What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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69- by Adam Chebali

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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