Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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Whats fleash color flesh color and fleash color? a hodo rolling down a hill.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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Somewhere in prison- Germany 1940 Janurary, Tuesday, 630PM: "Why doya' think you're so innocent" "It was only a jew!"

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Black People.

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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