*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

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What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia ...where am I

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How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. -sensored-

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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