Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

Your existance.

why was the little girl crying? because she was molested

Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

the love boat

Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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