What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to the Navy SEALS? Nothing. There was insufficient time to hold a conversation before they shot him in the face.

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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Knock knock. Who's there You are.

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Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

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Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

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What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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There's a bunch of people standing around a retard...why is no one laughing? Its his funeral

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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