Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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