Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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Your social life.

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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Why did the man get fired? Because he had cancer

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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