What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops