your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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knock knock ... no one was in

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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what's the difference between a black man and a lift? both can raise babies, a part from the black man

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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