What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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Woman Rights

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops