A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

knock knock ... no one was in

A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

How old is your mom? Old.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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