What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

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Hey we just met And this is crazy But my name's Kony And I stole your baby

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

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why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

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Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

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Womens' Rights

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops