Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

knock knock who's there no one

Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a white guy They both have different skin color

Women's rights

Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

Why did the Afircan child die? He had AIDS.

Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

rishi is gay (coventry england)

Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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