Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why do those Indian people have that dot on their forehead ? Idk but it makes a good target.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +23

1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A white man wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a black burglar trying to steal his hard earned possessions that he slaved many hours for, being a man who enjoyed living a man of luxury and hates people of foreign nature who steal his things said to him. " get out"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats an Anti Joke

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops