Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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what's bad about pushing your friend off a cliff? you can't do it twice

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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yo mama is so fat even dora cant explore her

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What do you call a black cop? Officer.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

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what's brown and sticky? A stick

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What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

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A women's opinion.

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love is a homeless guy searchin' for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

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What do you call a Pokemon without a trainer? A wild pokemon.

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Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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