What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

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Women's rights.

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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Jersey Shore

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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Q: What's worse than a rainy day? A:

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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What's worse than losing something? Dieing.

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops