A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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