Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A baby walks into a bar, I find that very unlikely as very few baby's can actually walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Irish man walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops