What's the difference between a duck

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

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What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

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What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

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Tell you something funny.

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eloise dey.

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What do you call a special Ed walrus? Anorexic pony ???? Discovering that a convicted sex offenderi is living nearby stirs up a range of feelings: fear, anger, insecurity and anxiety. There are many things you can do to make the situation more manageable - and channel these emotions into actions that address situations that put children most at risk for sexual harm. Learn how to identify the most common threats and concerns. Then find out the best ways you can join with others to keep everyone safe. Take action! Learn how to keep children safe Get the FAQs about the sex offender registryi Download our Tip Sheet:  Concerned about Sex Offenders in Your Neighborhood?

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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