Donald Trump

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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Knock Knock Who's there? its the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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