What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -5

WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You're welcome!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

wanna here a joke??? read below...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops