- Anti Joke

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda pop" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

Breast cancer.

Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

Knock, knock. answers door

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

Breast cancer.

Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

Knock, knock. *answers door*

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock, knock. answers door