Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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Q. what did the white man say to the black man? A. hello

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Where do you live? In a house

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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