Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Dance is a sport

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A homosexual walks into a church

thumb_up thumb_down +14

It was a warm summer day when justin beiber got hit by the bus everyone was cheering

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops