Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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There's a car about to hit me.

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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knock knock piss off

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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Whats an Anti Joke

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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A seal walks into a club.

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WNBA

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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