Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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tea with milk?

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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24

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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hi my name is matt mckeon and i like renata saggy tits !!!!!

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Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

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How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

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An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Astronaut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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